problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
