come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
