Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize