I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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