Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
