I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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