You're my little dorito
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
In America we eat man semen.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I want is dick and wine.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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