Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
