I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
