Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
