My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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