why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
