I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
