I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Vodka?
Forever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
