I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
