I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
