youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
