I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize