I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
