white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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