doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
