Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
