i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
