Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
