Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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