i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
