So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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