Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
