My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
