If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm like, not good at living.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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