his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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