wakey wakey hands off snakey
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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