I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
