your parents love me but you hate me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
