Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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