We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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