frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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