This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
