I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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