Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
