is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
