I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
