they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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