A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
