where does the pee come out of this thing
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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