still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
