Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize