That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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