the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
