Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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