Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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