I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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