dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
