You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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