Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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