How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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