Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
