why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The best revenge is premature balding
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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