In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
