you didnt know i had herpes?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
