How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
