so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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