lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize