you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
